Building Confidence for Success in Professional & Personal Life

Author : Prof. Dr. Siddhartha Ghosh – ILF Fellow & Editor

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they can get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things are not going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

“Low self-confidence isn’t a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered–just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better.”

If you want a different life, you need to do things differently.

Confidence is not something that happens to you. It is a habit. And though you know that you will need time and energy to create this new habit, the good news is that you can do. It is something under your control and dependent on you.

Here are some tips on how you can upgrade your natural – and earned – confidence so that you may join their ranks.

1. Maintain Calm in the Storm

You see others who handle crises with certain calm, and you wish you were more like them. It’s infuriating at first! What makes them seem so confident?

The answer is that confident people stay calm because they know (or assume) that they can handle whatever comes their way.

For example, when I plan a large event or workshop, I often have a moment of “Oh man! What if everything goes wrong?!” But because I have done it before and have evidence that it will probably not be the apocalypse, that feeling passes quickly. Calm retakes the center and I get back to work.

2. Calm Your Body

If you feel rising anxiety, take three extremely deep breaths all the way to the depth of your belly. Count slowly to 6 on the way in, then hold for two, then count slowly to 6 on the way out. Your metabolism will reset into calm.

3. Maintain A Positive Outlook

This habit creates a powerful feedback loop. The more confident you are, the more assured you are that things will likely go well. But it works the other way around as well. The more you cultivate a positive outlook, the more confident you will feel, free of the anxiety that might otherwise cripple you.

4. Identify Your Negative Voices

Identify your negative thoughts (inner negative voices) – because until you know them, you cannot change them. One quick trick is to give inner negative voices a name, including where they might come from (“Dad”) or something made up (“The Fear Monster”). Again, clear awareness of what is occurring in your mind allows you to take control of it, rather than letting yourself be run by your random thoughts.

5. Remember Your Accomplishments and Achievements

Make a list of all your accomplishments and achievements throughout your life. Be proud of them as well. After reviewing your list, you will feel more confident in yourself, you will realize you have achieved a lot of awesome things and are capable of doing something special!

6. Focus on Your Values

It is necessary to know your values and make sure that your whole life is aligned with your values. Do not try comparing your values with others.

7. Stand at the Edge of Your Comfort Zone

Confidence increases by meeting and coordinating with different people of different backgrounds and experiences. Many people, including me, hesitate and feel nervous whenever participating in get-togethers. Put yourself in “uncomfortable” situations and challenge yourself!

8. Forget Your Past and Think About Future

Try to counsel yourself before the end of the day. This will help you to easily realize what have you done and what needs to be done. You should have a high aim and focused vision every day.

9. Do not Worry What Others Think

Do not think about what others may say or think about you. Just focus on yourself because it is YOUR life. However, sometimes opinions can be useful and help guide you. Therefore, it is always good to listen to advice.

10. Set Your Limits and Do not Let Other Cross it

Never give someone a chance to cross your limits. If they try to do so, take prompt action according to the situation to avoid further issues. However, you should try and remain calm and steady.

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